How To Raise Respectful Kids If You're Wealthy
My friends, you and I have some good problems sometimes. “Good problems” are issues that you only have when you’ve reached a certain level of financial liberty.
They are not always easy to solve though. For example, solving how to stay rich is far easier than finding out how to raise respectful kids in a wealthy household.
Whether you have kids or plan on having them in the future, you should READ this one.
Not bragging but this could be the most important piece of content you’ll read this week so you should share it with someone else you think needs to hear this.
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Don’t take my word for it. Although, I am more than qualified to speak on the matter as my dad was quite wealthy and I turned out fine.
But take the words of an expert. Marc Dermos is a coach for billionaire kids. Yes, his job is to help kids coming from UHNW families deal with life. And he’s seen some crazy things.
The following is a true story~
Marc tells the story of a billionaire kid who had never done anything for himself. Decisions were made for him, and life was planned for him. He wasn’t happy at all about his “privilege” as he was on the verge of suicide.
He had never driven a car by himself for more than 10 miles so Bill told him the following. “Rent a car, you’re going to drive across the entire country from Virginia to California to join me here.”
At first, he panicked and was calling Marc every single second but then something happened. He realized it wasn’t that big of a deal and figured out that he had never seen his country from this view.
Private jets don’t do justice to seeing a random beautiful lake on the road. He booked stays for himself, drove by himself, took pictures, discovered new things, and got to California.
It changed his life. For the first time, the quiet boy without anything to say had thousands of stories to tell. His family said quote: “He can’t shut up anymore.”
It’s a crazy story because that kid is now a grown responsible and successful adult working with bill helping other “Spoiled” kids get back on the right path.
I read a lot on the matter. It comes down to FOUR main principles:
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#1 - There is Nothing More Valuable Than Your Presence in their lives!
Children are loyal to their parents. They’ll live with you in the desert if they have to as long as you’re good to them.
The first mistake that wealthy parents make is to think they can buy their way out of not being home. They think they can miss games and crucial development stages and just come back with gifts to fix everything. No, it doesn’t!
I met the daughter of a petroleum engineer and a doctor in Mexico. She was miserable and doing tons of drugs. She didn’t care about the chauffeur and the mansion, she just wanted mommy and daddy home.
She said “El dinero no me importa, porque yo crecí Sola” which translates to “I really don’t care about the money because I grew up alone”. (Yes, Flexing my Spanish)
So here is the first lesson
There is nothing you can buy them to REPLACE your Presence in their lives!
#2 - You’re Rich, but they are not!
Warren Buffet said raising entitled children is the biggest mistake one can make. He said if you raise your kid to think that just because they came out of the right womb they’re better than others, you’ve missed the mark. Pointing out Charlie being a great dad.
Charlie Munger, his 8 children, and grandchildren
Shaq famously said, “ We Ain’t Rich, I am”.
My dad used to say this constantly AND boy did it make something out of myself.
The recipe for ENTITLEMENT is to set up boundaries about who the money belongs to.
#3- Let Them Earn for Themselves
Look! You’re rich. Your kid’s lives won’t be nearly as hard as yours but don’t take responsibility away from them. It’ll ruin them.
Imagine winning the lottery early in life before even finding out who you are. It’s horrible.
There is a reason why every princess dreams of one day leaving the castle and exploring the wilderness.
It’s also why Buddha, a young prince ended up giving his entire wealth to become who he became.
It’s all about the drive, not the arrival.
Instead, teach them how to fish for themselves.
The Rothschilds established this early on which allowed them to remain wealthy till today and not lose it after 3 generations.
It’s reward based. They didn’t care who was the first or last born, the most competent kid ends up running the family business. It worked.
Don’t suck the life energy out of your children by GIVING them too much.
#4- Watch Your Kids Get into Flow
Pay attention to what sparks them. Ask why and double down when you find what drives them.
Laszlo Polgar wrote the famous book “How to raise a genius” and his answer is geniuses are made at the extremity of Play, Learning, and Fun.
Anxiety comes from huge expectations and not having the intimate natural talent to fulfill expectations. Forcing your kid to learn math while they’re good at writing might not be the best strategy after all.
Watch your kid get into the FLOW See what sparks them and double down.
Hope you enjoy this edition. See you next week.